locura

I knew my innocence was lost 

when I realized I was no longer afraid 
of the darkness surrounding me. 
Instead I discovered,
 I fear the darkness that hides inside me

mirror, mirror on my wall

i want to be pretty, thin, and tall.

mirror, mirror if i change my hair,

maybe someone will start to care.

mirror, mirror if i starve myself,

at least i'll be beautiful, forget my health...

This series of images is an expression of a deeply personal and very emotional subject. 

Locura is spanish for madness. 

I chose it to represent the madness within my soul, the madness that is twisted and obsessed with how I look on the outside. 

I have always had no self esteem. With my appearance, my weight, my photography. 
It's a sickness that has plagued me since I was young. 
It's a constant struggle in my life, to try and overcome the monster in my head. 
Malissa has modelled for me a few times and also has become a close friend of mine. 

She suffers from a similar monster. 

I am so grateful to her for working with me on this incredibly intense and visceral project. 
I can't thank her enough for being the artistic embodiment of our monsters.

Model: Malissa Otting